


A Living Nightmare

by flipflops



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), olicity - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, HEA, OOC, So much angst, You might cry, probably should have a lot more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 22:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5066029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflops/pseuds/flipflops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity's life is turned upside when she sees her worst nightmare come true..or so she thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Living Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> I have writers block. I am hoping that writing this last weekend will help me write this weekend. I wrote this in a couple of hours. I let a friend read it and she thinks I should post it so...here it is. 
> 
> This is angsty and OOC for Felicity. It is also just one chapter here, however the one chapter is broken into a few chapters. I did minimal editing of a free flowing work. 
> 
> You've been warned.

Felicity walked towards the house. She can barely contain her excitement. Her home. Her first real home. She smiles bigger, and it was with Oliver, her first home. She is pulling her suitcase behind her as she makes her way up the driveway to the house. The team had set up here for surveillance. 

Felicity had to stay behind to tend to Palmer Tech business. She hated staying behind and being away from Oliver, but she's here now. She gets to the front door and lets herself in. She's almost giddy when she looks around her former home. Her happy place. Well, anywhere with Oliver is her happy place. This place was special though. Their own little paradise.

She walks through the house to the kitchen. She hears laughter coming from the backyard patio. She smiles with excitement, their home is always full of love and laughter. She moves to the door and slides it open. Her smile fades and then drops completely. Her stomach clenches and she feels vomit climbing up her throat. She swallows. 

Sitting there is Digg and Lyla (she had purchased another house for them to live in while here, it's what billionaires can do) Thea was sitting with Roy who could show his face here, four of her old neighbors and the man they were all trying to stop from becoming an international arms dealer. None of those things are why her smile dropped. 

Oliver was sitting at the head of the table, drinking a beer with Laurel in his lap laughing. She leans down and kissing his head, he smiles up at her. Felicity drops the handle of her bag. It makes a loud thump. She covers her mouth and starts shaking her head. This cannot be happening. No, not today, not here...not with her. 

She never saw this coming. Laurel is supposed to be her friend. Felicity thinks back to Sara talking about Laurel plotting to get Oliver to take her out first. They were kids then, not they're adults. She thinks back on Laurel's snide remarks and her dismissive behavior. Okay, maybe Laurel isn't her friend.

But Oliver...Oliver loves her. He's a different man with her...they are special. Or she's a fool? His fool. Oh, god what happened?

Everyone stops to look at her. Oliver's face is the only one she sees. He looks guilty. He looks like..Ollie Queen, Laurel's boyfriend and she guesses that is appropriate since it seems absence did not make the heart grow fonder. Felicity turns on her heels and flees. She stops and locks the sliding glass door. She makes her way through the house and finds her Uber driver is just now leaving the driveway, she flags him down. 

She's lucky he was busy and he doesn't mind the crazy lady running out her. She is in the car by the time Oliver and Digg make their way to the front of the house. Both of them start hitting on the car. "You want out?" The driver asks with worry in his voice.

"No. Just go." She never looks at them. Oliver and Digg, her best friend and boyfriend. Former boyfriend and status of best friend: unknown. She only stares straight ahead. Once they are out of the development she finally bows her head and lets the tears start. She thinks back over the six weeks, they've been gone. Oliver's calls becoming less and less frequent. She chalked it up to stress and not wanting to distract her so she could join him sooner. She thought he was being the caring boyfriend, she knows and loves...loved. 

Nope. Loves. She can't turn it off that fast. She rest her hand on her stomach for a moment. She gets her breathing under control.

She thinks back to how he wasn't always saying "I love you" at the end of their calls. She glossed over that as typical guy behavior. Then she thinks about how he missed their anniversary, she kept expecting him to show up. Then she decided she should have went to him. That's how she cleared her schedule to be here. She'd told the board she was a tele-commuter before and she would do it again. Her family needed her. She snorts. "Family?" The driver looks at her but she waves him off. 

She looks down at the seat and realizes she left her bag on the patio. On the beautiful patio that she and Oliver so painstakingly decorated. She remembers the arguments over furniture, plants and whether or not to have outdoor lighting. She cries harder. 

She stops when they arrive at the airport. She wipes her tears away. "I don't remember saying I wanted to come here.." He smiles at her using the rearview mirror. "You didn't. But I picked you up here and you were excited to see your man..seems that didn't go well.." 

"That's an understatement.." She sniffles and pulls out her wallet. She pays the man and slides out. Well, she has no bags to check. She walks to the counter to buy her ticket. It's then she realizes the only "home" she has to go to is the loft. Oliver's loft. She scoffs. No. She can't go there, not now.

She calls Curtis. 

"I need a favor. Not as your boss but as a sort of friend?" She asks. She hopes he considers himself her friend and employee. "Sure. What do you need?" 

She takes a deep breath. "I need you to use the spare key in my desk, go to the loft and pack all my things and put them in storage. Under your name. There is money in petty cash, take it." She can tell he is pondering what she said. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes. I'm sure. Please, can you do this for me?" 

"Yes. Of course. What about...what about Oliver?" She fights the tears. "He won't be a problem. He's---he won't be a problem." She takes another moment. "One more thing...I am dumping this phone and will contact you later. Call my Mom...tell her, tell her I need a break." Donna Smoak would come to town and kill Oliver with her stiletto if she knew what happened.

"Ooookay." There is a pause. "Felicity? As your friend, are you sure? Are you okay?" She pulls her lips into her mouth and takes a shaky breath. "I am certain this is the right thing for me, and it's time I worried more about me. As for the okay..no, but I will be. Thanks for everything." 

She hangs up. She walks over to the trash can and drops her phone in. They will know to come here, they will trace it. She taught them that. She walks across the airport to the rental cars. She gets one easily. They can trace that through the credit card. That's when the trail will go dead. She taught them well, but she is better...then a thought hits her and nearly topples her over as she walks to retrieve her car..

"What if they don't look? What if I meant that little to them?" She looks around and makes sure no one heard her. Everyone is busy getting their cars and leaving. She finds hers, she tosses her purse in and slides behind the wheel. Goodbye Ivy Town. You were beautiful to me, once. 

She pulls out of the lot and turns right. She has no idea where she is going, but one should always turn right when undecided. That sounds like something a wise person would say. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oliver hates how much beer he has to consume to play the role of lover with Laurel. She seems to have no such problem as she easily sits on his lap. He smiles at her but it's forced. He hates this game. He isn't even cheating but he feels disgusting and dirty. He misses his girl, he misses Felicity. He takes another swig. He is also upset at how easily the friends he and Felicity made together accept Laurel as his new woman. He drinks again. What kind of man do they think he is? He doesn't want the answer he realizes.

Thea is telling the story of finding out her parents were Santa Claus and how she thought for another year, Santa was real.. just her Dad was him. They all laugh including Oliver, it's the first time he's laughed in six weeks. He takes another pull from his beer as Laurel kisses his head. He drinks more. He smiles up at her. He hopes it looks more real than it feels. Then he hears a thump. 

When he looks he thinks he's seeing things at first. There across the patio is the one he's longed to see. He starts to smile when he sees the tears, when he sees the look of betrayal and disappointment. Why is she crying. He feels Laurel squirm and remembers the ruse. Felicity has only looked at him that way once, after Isabel. He hates that look coming from her.She has no idea this is fake. 

She looks around at everyone with that same look. She spins and sprints towards the door. He shoves Laurel off his lap. He hears her yell when she hits the patio floor. He doesn't look back to see if she's alright. His focus is on the patio door. 

He reaches it and it's locked. Digg comes up behind him, "We never should have made her learn to sprint." Oliver nods and they both head towards the back gate. Why did Oliver insist on a fenced backyard with the gate at the very back? Idiot. He would scale it but he also insisted on it being too high to scale. Safety. 

He makes it around the house in time to see her get in a strange car with a strange man. She never looks at him. She only looks straight ahead. He starts pounding on the car trying to open the doors. "Felicity? Felicity!" She doesn't even flinch. 

The car is moving too fast. He keeps his hand on the rear passenger door until he can't keep up with the car. She never once acknowledged him. He watches the car drive off into the sunset. He remembers them driving off into the sunset. He puts both hands on the top of his head and drops to his knees. 

"FELICITY!" 

Once the car is out of sight, Digg walks over to him. "Come on, we have to find her." He pulls Oliver up to standing. 

"I've lost her Digg..." Digg shakes his head. "No. I refuse to believe that. If you lost her, then I lost her. We can't lose her." 

When they walk back inside their guests have all scurried away. Laurel walks up to him and slaps him, "He's gone. You needing to run after her cost us the plan." Oliver doesn't react to her slap. Digg moves to stand between them, 

"Felicity is more important than an arms dealer." She rolls her eyes at Digg. 

"She will forgive you. I won't but she will." 

"I don't recall asking you to forgive me." Oliver walks out of the living room. He needs his keys. He finds them on the hook. Felicity bought a key hook plaque. She joked that it would make it feel more like her home. He could see the longing in her eyes and they paid for it. She smiled the entire drive home. He smiles sadly at it.

Damn it. Why did he agree to this plan? Digg agreed it was stupid. Lyla, Thea and Roy felt the criminal in waiting would trust them more this way. Why would that make a difference, they all said it just would. Committed men seem more reliable. Yeah, right.

He's heading towards the car with Digg right behind him. "Lyla's going to start packing everything." Oliver just nods. Digg stops him and takes the keys, "I don't think you should be driving." 

"Wait!" Thea screams. "She's my family too.." Oliver looks at his kid sister who has grown to love Felicity almost as much as he does. He nods. They all climb in the car. The drive to the airport is silent. 

When they get there Thea pulls out a tablet. "Her phone is two hundred feet that way." She points to her left. They all jog to the point and find a trash can. Oliver doesn't need confirmation. Digg dials her number and they hear it ringing inside. Fuck!! She knew they would come looking for her and she ditched it.

Thea starts tracing her credit cards. They get a hit. Oliver knows her well, he doesn't tell them but he knows this is the last lead they will get. They will not find her until she is ready to be found, IF she is ever ready to be found. 

"She has to go back to Starling! Palmer Tech is there...we are there...we are her family...we need her, Ollie." He pulls his sister into his arms. She's right, they need her. He looks over her head at Digg. They are both thinking the same thing. They need her, but has she ever really needed them. 

From the start, he and Digg needed her. She did them the favor of coming on board. They were two brooding idiots trying to accomplish things the wrong way. She brought in her computer skills and her babbling, both changes were needed. She brought a warmth that both men clung to that first year. She challenged them to be more, to be better and they were because of her.

Now, she was gone. 

"What do we do?" Thea asks Oliver. He smiles sadly. She still thinks he has the answers. "We go home. We start trying to find her." 

"Maybe she's waiting at the loft for us." Thea has lost so much, suffered so much yet still she is an optimist down deep inside. "Maybe." He tells her, knowing it's a lie.

They head back to his home. His home with her. He feels like someone reached into his chest and tore out his heart. He looks up at the house he fell in love with all those months ago. The home he made with the love of his life. The home he thought they'd come home from their honeymoon to, the place he pictured bringing home their first child. 

The first place he was truly happy in seven years. He gets out of the car and they head inside. It feels colder and darker now. It's almost like the house knows what happened, maybe it's just the people in it who know. 

Lyla has everyone's bags packed and ready to go. Roy is shuffling around. He can't go back with them. Thea goes to him, "I have to go back for now, but once things are settled..I'll come to you." Roy kisses her. 

He walks over to Oliver. "IF you find Blondie, tell her I'm sorry and I hope she can forgive us all." Oliver sets his jaw and nods. He knows Roy understands she left them and why. He hears him leave, he won't watch someone else leave him today. 

He walks over and starts picking up bags. Laurel starts to say something but Lyla stops her, "Not now. We need to get home. Mr Arguire is gone. He's made us. There is nothing we can do about it." 

Oliver can tell Laurel wants to argue but she fears Lyla. Everyone knows Lyla could and would kick her ass. Oliver and Digg would let her right now. It's not totally Laurel's fault but her lack of empathy in the situation is making it worse. Everyone shuffles out to the waiting cars. 

At the airport, Laurel sits next to him. Lyla and Digg are buying their tickets and checking the bags. Thea is over in the corner on her phone, he assumes talking to Roy.

"Maybe it's for the best. She wasn't cut out for this life." Oliver turns to stare at her. She doesn't shut up. That look normally makes people shut up. "I mean, she's good with computers but she can't fight and she hates violence." He just keeps blinking rapidly. She still doesn't stop. "What we all do is dangerous and she is the opposite of that." 

He's had enough. He calmly and with a stern tone, "Shut up before I choke you." She gasps. She closes her mouth and goes to speak again when he looks at her pointedly. She finally understands she needs to stop talking. She sits back in her chair quietly. He really thinks he could hurt her right now. 

Oliver doesn't remember much of the plane ride or the drive to the loft. He does remember entering the loft. He'd told himself to prepare for her to not be there. He told himself it'd be empty and cold without her. Digg and Thea insisted on coming with him. He opens the door. 

He hears music and for a moment his heart soars. She came home. She came back to him. Then he sees Curtis. "OH..uh...I didn't think you'd be back yet." He has his hands full of Felicity's things. He puts them in a box.

"What are you doing here and what are those boxes for?" Curtis looks around at all the different boxes and then back to Oliver. He looks sad and sheepish.   
"Felicity called..she asked me to--uh..." He makes a face. "She asked me to pack her stuff up.." Oliver smiles a lead! She wants to be found. "Where?" 

Curtis looks to Digg and Thea for help. "She told me to put it in storage under my name..using petty cash-- I'm sorry, Oliver." He trails off. Oliver is angry and hurt. She didn't even come back to get her things. She doesn't want to be found, she doesn't want him.

"Get out!" He yells. Curtis doesn't know what to do. He looks around. Digg takes pity on him. "Just go, man. We will handle it." He looks around but he knows who he is dealing with and leaves. 

"She's really gone." Oliver murmurs. Thea comes over to him and hugs him. She's crying. Oliver wishes he could cry. He can't feel enough to cry or yell or fight. 

After Thea drops her arms, Oliver heads upstairs. He crawls into their bed. It's cold without her. He is cold without her. He grabs her pillow and inhales.. he can smell her on her pillow. He pulls it to his chest. He doesn't know what to do. He has no idea how to do anything...how to be the Arrow, how to be a man..how to LIVE without her. 

 

Chapter TWO

Felicity drives for several hours. She stops at an all night diner. She has a choice to make. She can get her things, empty her accounts and disappear forever. She could go back to Starling City. She could concentrate on her work and build a life on her own. Her heart stops. She feels a panic attack coming on and disregards that idea. Okay...what other options does she have. She could go home to her Mom. No. That would be awful. She could go to Boston. She has friends there and she loves it or she can go...she could go to Central City. 

She considers it for a moment. She could run Palmer Tech from there and slip in and out of Starling City without problems. She could help Barry, Caitlin and Cisco. She could spend time with Iris. She finds her self smiling for the first time in two days. She takes out her new phone she bought yesterday. She dials Barry's number.

"Hello?" She doubts herself and her decision. She almost hangs up. "Hello?" He says again and she knows this is the right choice.

"Barry..It's Felicity...I need a favor." 

"Sure. Anything." She smiles. She tells Barry what happened and how she can't go back, not now at least. Barry tells her she's more than welcome. Barry offers to meet her and help her with the rest of the drive. She tells him no. She hangs up, pays her bill and walks out. She's heading to her new life. A life she never planned on. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been two days. He hasn't seen her in two days, he hasn't heard her voice in two days. He rolls onto his back and throws his arm over his eyes. He hurts. His heart feels broken and he feels shattered into a million pieces. How could he have let this happen to them. He had all he ever wanted and he risked it all to catch a criminal. Why didn't he just tell her what they had planned? She would have either understood or objected and he wouldn't have done it. Would he? 

There's a knock on the door. "GO AWAY" He doesn't want to see or talk to anyone. He hears the door creak open. 

"Ollie? You can't stay in bed for the rest of your life." He moves his arm down and looks at his sister. "You need to get up. We need to find her." He rolls to his side away from her. She walks over to that side of the bed and gets down on her knees. "We all are lost without her...please, help me?" Oliver finally looks at her. 

Thea looks just as scared and lost as he feels. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. He swallows the lump in his throat. He promised to always take care of her and he failed, again. He slowly sits up. She gasps. He forgot he's wearing the same clothes from the night they returned here, he won't call it home. It's not a home without her. 

"I'll shower and meet you downstairs." She rises and walks out. He walks into the bathroom. All of her things are gone. He remembers the first night of their trip when he saw all her lotions, perfumes, soaps and makeup. She shrugged and told him "A girl has needs". He'd looked at her and next thing he knew they were fucking in the bathroom. It was amazing. It was one of the best nights of his life. 

He sheds his clothes and tosses them into the garbage. They're tainted. He doesn't want to see them ever again. He showers quickly. He walks naked into their room and heads to the closet. He opens the door and all the air leaves his lungs. Her side is completely empty. Curtis was a good friend, and he took all of her things. Nothing was left. He leans against the door. He needs to control his breathing. He needs to get a grip. 

He focuses on his side of the closet. He grabs a pair of dark jeans and a dark gray henley. He walks to the dresser to grab underwear and socks. He puts everything on quickly. He pulls on his boots that were beside the bed. He's ready to face his sister. 

When he arrives to the living area he notices the table is set. He looks to the kitchen to find Digg, Lyla and Thea are in there cooking. When Digg sees him, he excuses himself and walks over to Oliver. "How are you?"

Oliver looks out the floor to ceiling windows at the sun. He sighs. "Im alive." Digg claps him on the shoulder. "That's enough right now." 

They move to the table as the women start carrying out things to eat. Digg goes to help while Oliver takes a seat. He doesn't want to eat, or make small talk. He wants Felicity. He looks down at his empty plate and has to fight the tears. 

"Okay. Breakfast is served!" Thea announces. Oliver looks up to all of them eyeing him. They're scared for him, he can see it in their eyes. He tries to smile and they try to return it. It's all bullshit. 

Thea, acting like a mother-hen, fills a plate for him and fusses over him not eating. She also hands him coffee and juice. He decides to try a few bites so they will all stop looking at him like that. The eggs are really good. The bacon makes him feel queasy. It doesn't taste right but then again, what is right in his world. He is sipping his juice when the doorbell rings. 

He hears Thea talking to Laurel.. They come towards the dining area. "Are we a team or are we still going to act like we are nothing without her?" Digg stands.   "WE are a team. WE were a team long before you decided to join us. And as a team, WE are looking for our teammate." Laurel stares at him with her arms crossed. Oliver says nothing. He has nothing to say. Looking at her once filled him with regret and guilt because he had betrayed her. Now, he can't look at her without seeing Felicity's face. Without remembering that he is the reason their teammate is gone. 

He pushes his chair back. It squeaks across the floor. He doesn't say anything he just grabs his jacket and walks out. He needs some air. He needs to not be around Laurel right now. He knows it's not her fault. He agreed to the stupid plan, but part of him feels she liked her role a little too much. He slams the door behind him.

He's starting his bike when Lyla steps in front of him. He turns off the engine. "Be careful. We can't lose you too." Oliver nods. He just needs to ride for awhile. He needs to just feel the wind and the road. Lyla steps back and he takes off. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Barry has given Felicity an office in Star Labs. Right now, they are a mess without Harrison Wells. She gladly accepts the office. She could work from the apartment Barry helped her find, but she rather be around people. It helps with the intense feeling of loss. 

She has her office almost set up and her servers are ready. She sighs. She's doing it. She's making a new life for herself. She has an office now, she is in contact with Curtis, Jerry and the board. She has a cute apartment that she can decorate however she wants. She might even get a pet! Maybe....maybe not.

She works on getting the rest of her system up for the morning. At lunch, she heads to meet with Cisco and Barry. The three eat lunch together and she's proud of herself. She's eating again. Sure, it was just crackers but it's a start. She walks back to her office and remembers walking down this corridor with Oliver. She remembers how alive she felt walking with him. He always made her feel more alive. She felt powerful and unstoppable. Now, she feels like a scared little girl, hiding from her problems and she hates it. The thought of going back makes her stomach heave.

When she sits down at her desk, she makes an important decision: She will see if they are looking for her. She easily hacks into her own system. They haven't changed it. They probably know enough to change it but not enough to keep her out. 

They have a few searches for her. Driver's license, credit cards and hmm...facial recognition. She's impressed by that one. The boys usually have trouble with that one when she's out of town. Perhaps Thea? Or L...She shakes her head. She wipes out the program. It's that or she avoids cameras for the rest of her life. 

She sucks in a quick breath. The.Rest.Of.Her.Life. Is this really how the rest of her life will go? Never seeing Oliver again. Never talking to him or sharing her day with him. 

Wow. Never is a long time...

 

Chapter THREE

It's been three months. Felicity hasn't been to Starling in three months. She's missed this insanely criminal place. She is flying in via helicopter. She knows Oliver will know about the board meeting. She also planned it for mid-morning so that he couldn't use his Arrow persona to arrow his way into the building. He could use the dark of night to cover himself. 

Of course this is IF he wants to find her, IF he wants to see her. 

They are landing on the roof of Palmer Tech. She really hates flying. She's so relieved it's over. Barry grabs her hand. "You okay?" She sighs and nods. 

Barry has been a great friend. He agreed to come with her. If Oliver does show up he can run her to the helicopter. He can also be here for moral support. She can really use that right now. She walks across the roof to meet Jerry. He smiles at her and she returns it. Hers full of nerves. Jerry's anxious to see his boss.

They walk down to the board room. Jerry briefs her on the things she needs to know. She walks in and is equal parts relieved and internally destroyed. A small part of her thought he'd know she was here and show up. She looks away, then she sits. Big girl panties are on today.  
The meeting goes well. They break for lunch. She runs to her office. Barry is waiting for her. Jerry brings in lunch. "Nice office. I can't believe you rather be in Central City with me, than here. This is amazing." He is looking around. 

They sit at her desk and eat. Jerry and Barry seem to like one another. She likes when all her friends play nice. She's watching them talk about some show they both watch, that oddly enough, she does not watch. She looks up and sees Curtis. 

She runs and hugs him. He pulls her out into the lobby. 

"How have you been?" He asks her gently. She knows he's been worried about her. She smiles up at him. He's tall, taller than Oliver. It hurts her neck, he must realize it because he sits down in the chairs. She does the same.

"Busy..getting my office and apartment set up took a lot of time. Iris, Caitlin, Cisco and Barry do their best to keep me occupied when I'm not working..and of course our project." She smiles at him with a knowing look. He doesn't return it. 

"I meant about the breakup. He misses you. He calls almost every day asking me to just give him a hint...or you a message." He reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out a binder full of messages. She gulps. She can't read them. She can't read those. She shakes her head and looks away. 

Curtis opens the first page. 

"Just tell her I love her..only her." He turns a few pages. "Please call me, please!" 

He turns to the last page, "Felicity, call me. If you tell me there is no hope, that it's over...I will leave you alone." He closes the book. "That a sample of them. He was on the verge of a breakdown last month. He almost killed a guy.." 

She turns to him, "Oliver wouldn't kill anyone." She leans and whispers, "The Arrow gave up killing..he wouldn't..he couldn't..." 

"Oliver is lost--YOU were the one who helped him become human again." Before she can reply, Jerry comes out to tell her it's time for the last session of the board meeting. She follows him to the boardroom. Her mind isn't on the meeting, it's on Oliver. He wouldn't kill again. He just wouldn't. He isn't that man anymore. 

By the end of the meeting she has convinced herself she knows him better. He won't do it. He can be the Arrow without her, he can be a better man.

She shakes the hands of all the board' members. She grabs her bag and turns to Curtis. "I'll see you in a couple of weeks, you're coming to visit, right?" He nods sadly. She can tell he hoped she would contact Oliver or one of the others. She can't. Not yet. Maybe someday. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thea comes running into the lair. He hates that term but Felicity used it and now he does. "Ollie!" She skids to a stop in front of him. She grabs his arm, "We got to go now!" He doesn't move. 

"Go where?" She sighs and tugs at him. When he still doesn't move she turns to Digg, "Help?" 

"Why?" Digg asks from across the room. 

"Felicity! Can I explain on the way?" Both men are moving before she finishes her sentence. They are in Thea's car. She's driving. Digg in the passenger seat and Oliver behind them. "A friend of mine, Missy?" She asks. Oliver shakes his head. He never paid much attention to her friends. 

"Her Dad is on the board of Palmer Tech. They're having their annual shareholders meeting with the board. Felicity HAS to be there. She's in town Ollie!" She pulls up outside the building. "I'll park the car and meet you up there! Don't let her go." She says as Oliver slams his door. 

He and Digg run into the building. "How are we going to get to the executive floor?" He looks around. None of his employees are here. He can't bribe anyone, he has no money. He can't beat anyone into submission as Oliver Queen. It's then he realizes. 

"She planned it this way." Digg turns to him. "What?" 

"Felicity planned it during the day. My hands are tied. I'm Oliver Queen, former billionaire. If it were night I could be someone else. We always had a meeting during the day and a party at night." He looks around. "There's no party." 

"Maybe it's a cost cutting measure?" Oliver chuckles. "That's what she will tell them but no...it's to keep me away from her." He's crushed. He almost falls to the floor. Digg grabs him. 

"You are Oliver Queen, you don't give up. Now, we are going to find a way to the executive floor." Thea walks up to them. 

"I said not to let her leave...not wait for me!" She teases. 

"We have no access to the executive level." Oliver tells her. She smirks and holds up an all access pass. "How did you--" 

She walks past them, they follow. Once they are on the elevator she turns to the boys. "Malcolm taught me many things. Among them how to steal." Oliver grins. He never thought he'd be thankful to Merlyn for anything, ever again.

The elevator stops on the top floor. Oliver takes a deep breath. He needs to be ready to plead his case and to prepare himself to see her again. The doors open and they step out. He turns towards the boardroom and sees her. He feels the wind knocked out of him as his body buzzes with awareness. She's more beautiful than he remembers. 

She's thinner, paler but still--so beautiful. She is smiling at some guy. A board member. He doesn't take his eyes off of her. He sees Curtis lean in and whisper something to her. She nods and excuses herself. It's then she sees him. She freezes. Her mouth makes that perfect "O" of surprise. Oliver steps toward her. Ten armed security guards block his view of her. When he finally is able to fight his way out of their hold, she's gone. 

He blew his only chance. She's smarter than him, she knew how to do this, her plan was perfect.

Chapter Four

Felicity and Iris are in Iris' childhood bedroom getting dressed for a big night out. They've done their hair and makeup. Now, they are putting on their dresses and heels. Iris keeps joking about how she feels like it's prom all over again. Felicity rolls her eyes, "I hope not! That was an awful experience. Drunk date got arrested after he pawed me half the night." Iris laughs. 

"My date was too scared to touch me. Dad being a cop and all." Felicity understands. Well not really but she can imagine. She has a very good imagination. 

The girls make their way downstairs where Joe and Barry are waiting. Joe always takes Iris as his date to these functions. He doesn't like to give women any ideas, he jokes. Barry asked Felicity to go. More out of pity she assumes. Whatever was once between them is now a solid friendship. These past few months, Barry has been her rock. Her friend, but never a lover.

Felicity is surprised to see a press line when they arrive. She's done press lines before as Oliver's executive assistant but never as a person being photographed. She turns to Barry, "Maybe I should wait in the car and sneak in?" He shakes his head. 

"Nope. You're my date. Your job is to help me with them." 

They get out of the car and start walking towards the press. Barry is asked how it feels to be recognized as a hero in their city. He and Joe, along with several officers had solved an old homicide case. The city is celebrating since the victim was a big name in their city. 

Felicity is photographed by what feels like thousands of cameras. They did three interviews already. Barry smiles at her, his hand on the small of her back. "Last one." She's relieved until she recognizes the call letters of the station. It's out of Starling. "Barry?" She whispers but he can't hear her. 

They step into the frame. "Mr Allen, who are you with--Miss Smoak! We didn't realize you two are a couple! Last we heard you were living with and practically engaged to Oliver Queen." The microphone is shoved in her face. She freezes. 

Barry moves the microphone towards him. He waves at the camera. "Felicity and I are JUST friends. We've known one another for years. She graciously agreed to be my date..I hate coming to these alone. She's a really good FRIEND." He looks pointedly into the camera. Felicity feels like she may pass out. He will be able to find her, if he wants her. She won't run again. She regrets running the first time. Felicity Smoak was never one to back down.   
Barry leads her into the ballroom where the dinner is taking place. She sits and stares. She feels everything she had buried for so long bubbling to the surface. Barry sitting beside her, leans and grabs her hand, "Let's go.." She shakes her head. It's his night. She can have her breakdown, tonight, alone in her apartment. 

Like she always does. Will he come for her? Does she want him to? She cries herself to sleep that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oliver is sitting on the couch watching a baseball game when someone starts pounding on the door. He slowly gets up, not wanting to miss the pitch. Finally the door opens the door. "Are you watching?" He looks at her then back to the tv. "yeah.." 

She rolls her eyes at him. "Not that!" She snatches the tv remote from his hand and flips the channel. He is about to take it back and yell at her when he sees--Felicity on the screen. He plops down with a thud onto the coffee table. He blinks rapidly expecting her to disappear. 

Thea turns the sound up. He hears the reporter ask her about dating Barry Allen. He looks up at Thea who has moved to stand beside him. "She's with him?" 

He doesn't expect an answer. Of course, why wouldn't she be with Barry. The little rat adores her. He hangs on her every word and he'd never hurt her the way Oliver did. She looks better than the last time he saw her. Healthier. She's dressed in a dress that he wouldn't be able to resist ripping off her. His next thought almost makes him vomit.

Barry is the one who gets to do that now. "Turn it off." He stands up to head to the kitchen. He needs more beer. Lots more beer. 

Thea pushes him back to a sitting position. "Just listen." 

He puts his head down so he can't see them smile at one another, he's happy she's happy but he doesn't want to see it. Not when it will rip out what is left of him. Then he hears the reporter ask about Felicity and Oliver. He lifts his head. 

""Felicity and I are JUST friends. We've known one another for years. She graciously agreed to be my date..I hate coming to these alone. She's a really good FRIEND." Oliver looks at Barry. 

"I think he's sending you a message Ollie." Oliver replays it several more times. He thinks she might be right. 

"You should go alone." Oliver is headed for the stairs. He needs to pack a few things first.  
"I'll call the airline." She yells after him. 

An hour later. Thea and Digg are seeing him off at the airport. The mood is both scared and hopeful. They all want her back. They all need her back. Oliver just doesn't know if she will come back. 

He boards the plane. He has a window seat. He puts on his headphones and stares out the window. He will do his best to make her come back with him. Whether it's as his girlfriend or as a team member, that is the big question. He will take as little or as much as she is willing to give. Not that he won't stop wanting her or stop letting her know he is hers. 

The plane starts it's descent. He starts to gather his courage for what is to come. He grabs his bag and deplanes. He decides to call Barry before getting a car. He pulls out his phone as he exits the airport. 

"Oliver...what took you so long. That interview aired what? 8 hours ago?" Oliver rolls his eyes. Cocky little shit. 

"Where is she?" Barry laughs. "You going all 'me Tarzan, you Jane' on her? That should go great." He knows Barry is right, he just hates the little punk knowing where she is, he hates that he's had months with her. 

"You at the airport?" 

"Yes." He hisses. "I'm on my way. " They disconnect and then it hits Oliver that Barry could mean he's running here. And he didn't answer Oliver's question.

He waits by the curb for loading and unloading passengers. It's about thirty minutes before Barry pulls up. Oliver lifts his bag and gets in the car. "Where to, Sir?" Barry jokes. Oliver just turns and looks at him. 

"Okay...okay...to Felicity's. Got it. What are you going to say to her?" Oliver stares out the passenger window but answers. "I don't know...what did she tell you?" 

Barry blows out a breath. "At first, nothing. She refused to talk about it. When your name or Arrow was mentioned she would look like she was struck in the gut. She'd do that wrap her arms around herself thing." Oliver turns to look at Barry. He just shrugs. Barry is like Felicity, they don't pull punches when you ask for the truth.

"One night she got, really drunk and Felicity drunk talks more than sober Felicity which I didn't think was possible!" Barry laughs. Oliver lips turn up a bit. It's true she's a drunk babbler and horny...he turns to Barry. "I know, I know--she's extra friendly. NOTHING happened." Oliver believes him. 

"Finally she told me she found you and Laurel together. In her words not 'together, TOGETHER' but close enough. You were happy and the whole team seemed okay with it...she thought of going back and sucking it up, but in the end she didn't."

"Why?" 

Barry eyes get big. "I don't think it's my place to say...she had her reasons. If that reason was still a valid a reason, she would be back in Starling by now...but it wasn't and she didn't want to--go back. She needed time."

 

Barry takes him to Joe's house. "Why am I here? Is she living with you?" Barry smiles brightly and shakes his head. 

"No. Iris makes dinner for all of us once a week. Felicity never misses it. She can't cook.." Oliver smiles he knows, he's had to swallow some awful attempts at her trying to cook.

Oliver follows Barry inside. When they walk in, they both take off their jackets and hang them up. The house smells wonderful. "Hey, guys I have another guest" 

Iris walks out. She looks at Oliver who momentarily worries. Not only does Iris stare at him sometimes, she is a good friend to Felicity. "I see your master plan worked." Barry smiles proudly at Iris. Oliver rolls his eyes. Could this kid be more obvious.

"Felicity!" Iris shouts over her shoulder. She walks out into the living room. She doesn't notice him at first, she is reading a cookbook while walking towards Iris. She's beautiful. Her hair is pulled back, she's wearing her pink lipstick. He looks at her and notices she is wearing jeans and a tee shirt. A STAR labs tee shirt. He tries to tap down the jealousy. 

"What? I was thinking I should try to make dess---Oliver?" Her voice cracks on his name. He can't take his eyes off her. 

Six months without really seeing her, without talking to her has not change how his body reacts to her. His heart is racing and his body just wants to pull her to him.

"Hi.." Oliver can't believe how lame he is, how stupid that sounds. 

"Hi.." She returns. He sees Barry move towards Iris. "We will leave you two crazy kids alone." 

"NO!" Felicity shouts. "I mean--that's okay. Oliver is your guest." Felicity turns and heads back into the kitchen. Iris and Barry are looking at each other confused. 

"If you two don't mind.." He motions towards where she went. 

"Hey, Barry let's go back to the station and see Dad.." They both exit quickly. Oliver owes both of them, even more if their plan works. 

Felicity is standing in front of the stove. Her head is bent and her shoulders are moving up and down. She's crying. She's crying because of him. He sucks in his lips and tries to figure out what to say. Nothing comes to him. 

"Felicity.." She freezes. He walks closer he goes to touch her but stops himself. He can't invade her space like that. "Please, turn around...talk to me?" 

He can tell she is wiping the tears from her face. She squares her shoulders. He watches as she takes a deep breath and turns to him. 

"What do you want, Oliver?"

YOU, he wants to scream. He only wants her. "I want to talk to you." She frowns and looks away. 

"It's okay, Oliver--I understand. We REALLY do not need to talk about this...I've moved on. I have a new life..." She turns away. He smiles at her hand. She does his nervous tick. He steps closer and takes her hand. 

"Is there room for me in your new life?" She sucks in a breath and looks up at him. "Why?" 

"When you love someone, when you're in love with someone you want to be with them. And I am in love with you." She looks at him confusion clearly written all over her face. She tilts her head exactly as she did on the day they met. He smiles at her the exact same way.

She walks to the kitchen table and sits. He takes that an invitation to speak.

"What you saw...what I did was wrong." He sits beside her. Her hands are folded in front of her. She is staring at her hands, so he looks at them and sees a tear drop fall onto her hand. "I didn't cheat on you. That was an act. We decided, the team-- that Laurel being a friend would look suspicious. I wanted her to be Lyla's sister but I was outvoted." 

Felicity looks up at him. She is listening. Thank goodness. "I went along with it and I shouldn't have. I felt so guilty. I never kissed her, we never had sex and she NEVER slept in our bed..I swear." He watches her swallow. 

"You can ask me anything?"

"She was in your lap...at our home--with people I thought were our friends. It--it felt like you gave her my life.." He shakes his head. "No, baby...no. It was a stupid plan. Sure, being Lyla's sister would seem weird but me not loving you--they questioned it."

"Did Digg want you to be with her--like that?" Of course, she would ask that. She loves Digg. "No. Digg and I were the only no votes." She smiles shyly. He knows she needed to hear. 

"Thea and Roy really regret their votes. Thea didn't realize---Roy went with her. Lyla--they don't get along and she didn't want Laurel in her house." Felicity eyes get big. 

"It was just the two of you, in our home?" 

"No. Roy and Thea stayed there. They slept on the floor in the living room and Laurel had the guest room." She seems okay with the answer. 

"Felicity, I've missed you.." He reaches for her hand and she lets him. "I've missed you too." 

"I want us back..." Oliver whispers. "I need you. I don't care if we live here or Starling City or Ivy...I don't care as long as we're together." She doesn't say anything. 

"If you need time, I understand." He's heartbroken. He thought once he apologized and told her everything she'd forgive him and move on. 

"Can you forgive me?" 

"Oliver, there is nothing to forgive. You didn't do anything--"

"I let myself get involved in a situation. If you did the same thing with some other man, I'd kill him." 

"You wouldn't have left me.." He shrugs. "No. But I would have been hurt."

They sit there for several minutes. 

"May I ask you a question?" She looks him in the eye, then nods. "Barry said you would have come back..if you had a reason..but you didn't. Wasn't I a reason to come back?" 

The tears start flowing. She moves back in her chair and walks across the room. She has her arms wrapped around herself. He should have kept his mouth shut. She goes to say something but Barry, Iris and Joe walk in. 

"Cisco and Caitlin will be here soon." Joe says. Oliver is resigning himself to this conversation being over or at least delayed. 

"Oliver and I are going to head out...we need to talk." The three friends smile at them.

"Let me bag you up some food...you might need it later." Iris teases. From your lips to God's ears, Iris. Oliver thinks to himself. He will be happy just to spend time with her.

Felicity hugs everyone goodbye. Oliver just waves. They take her car to her place. Oliver looks up to see a brownstone. "I'm on the top floor."

He follows her in. It's a cute small apartment. He looks around while she gets plates so they can eat. She has no pictures of them or the team. There are pictures of her with Donna. There are pictures of Barry, Iris, Caitlin and Cisco. Even one with Joe. He sees another photo of an ultrasound. "Who's baby?" 

She drops the plates. "Felicity? Are you alright?" He moves to her and starts picking up the plates. She gets a broom and sweeps up what he couldn't pick up. He takes the dustpan and broom from her. He takes them back into the kitchen.

He returns to find her holding the picture. She looks up at him, "Ours. The picture." Oliver feels like the heart that was mending was shattered again. "Ours?" 

She moves to sit on the couch. He follows her. "I missed my period. I bought the test and decided to fly to see you. We'd been apart on our anniversary and so.. I wanted us to take it together..." Oliver feels like total shit. He wanted to go home for their anniversary but then things started to happen. Wait? Where's the baby...

"And you saw me.." 

"That's not why...he died." She tells him sadly. He can feel the pain radiating off of her.

"He?" 

She smiles sadly. "I just guessed a boy. I wasn't far enough along. This was taken at ten weeks. Two days later, I woke up and he was gone" She starts crying. He moves closer and puts his arm around her. She went through all that alone. 

"I was going to come back at twelve weeks, they say that's when you're out of danger...I was going to tell you and then if you wanted to share him--we'd make a plan. I was even willing to move back so he could have both of us. I just needed time and I needed to make sure he was safe..but I failed."

Of course Felicity would put their child first. She would want the best for their child and never think about herself or her needs. She will be an excellent Mom. "You went through all that by yourself." 

"Mostly. I did tell Barry a few weeks ago."

"When you saw me in Starling...were you, was he?" She shakes her head. "When I went to Ivy Town--I was already seven weeks. Just before you left...the shower..." He smiles oh he remembers that night. He's replayed that night a million times. They made a baby. Their baby. His child...

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. We should have gone through it together."

"Oliver, it's not your fault. I left without letting you explain..it's just that--people always leave me. My Dad, Cooper..."

"Me." He says solemnly. He did leave her. He left after the undertaking. He left her emotionally after their first date.He left to face Ra's, twice. He left her for those six weeks. 

"Oliver..don't this isn't just on you. When I took that test..I knew I needed to go back to you. Talk to you, but I also needed time to steel myself to the fact you might leave me too...You're not the only one who screws up in this relationship."

"I do it more.." 

"True.." They both laugh. 

"Okay. We've both messed up. I don't care about that. All I care about is working this out. Can we?" He wants them to mourn their child together. He wants them to find a way back to one another.

"It'll take a lot of work. I mean, how can you trust me? I left you? I kept your child from you..." She trails off.

"I knew even pretending with Laurel would hurt you. I never even thought to call Barry..." Why didn't it occur to him to call Barry? He knows they are friends.

They look at each other for several minutes, both with dopey smiles on their faces. "We can work through this, right?"

Oliver was in hell for five years. The past six months make that seem like a cake walk. "We can do anything as long as we're together." He leans over and kisses her. 

They will need time to work it out. They will probably need to step back from the team to fix THEIR team. They will need to mourn their old relationship and their child. But he knows they can do it. The two of them are an unstoppable team.


End file.
